One of the biggest changes I have experienced in my life has happened in the last few years, with the realisation that religion has nothing to offer me...at first, it came as a shock, for I had always assumed that religion, as in Christianity, is part of life.
I have never been a devout follower of any particular religion, however, Christianity seemed always to be in the background and for some reason that I can not fathom, indoctrination I suppose, had to be the chosen path. I was brought up a Catholic, my mother was of that belief, In my teens I turned Methodist, it seemed to be the way to go living in Wales, that was the way it remained for some years.
In 1962 I got married (the first time around) Around this time, I had to move to England with my family because of a lack of work, It was than I had my experience with Billy Graham, I recall seeing him perform on a big screen in Nottingham sometime in the mid 60's, I have to say I was very impressed. Again, I seemed to assume that one had to have some sort of religious background in ones life, I suppose this was because my mother instilled much of it into my head. It never occurred to me to question the overall validity of religion, just the path I happened to be taking at any given time. which eventually, over the years, I found kept bringing me back to square one. as in who? what? when? how? Why?
In the 80's, I had a minor breakdown which lost me my job at the time, the 80's were not a good time to be unemployed, being unemployed through sickness was doubly severe, for it went against one when applying for work, especially if it was assumed it would affect ones mental capability. This resulted in some 400 job applications over some 4 years, and much spare time, so I enrolled in a local collage on a govt. scheme to start on a 5 year path which would if I was successful, culminate in a BA. However, I got diverted and studied the history of religion for some 18 months or so. This is when my eyes were opened and my brain got thoroughly confused, to cut a long story short, I found that much of religion was probably no more than a concoction of myths and fables passed down over many thousands of years. briefly, I found that Christianity was most likely, only a regurgitation of earlier religions, as in, brought into being by the powers that be of that day to assist in controlling the masses, The story of a baby boy being born to a virgin, then ending his life on a stake of wood in retribution for the "crime's" he had committed against the then "state" of that time. The more I studied, the more that unfolded. (as in Christianity, having been started by rebels against the state, then eventually, the Roman's towards the end of Emperor Constantine's rule, realizing that religion would help greatly in policing the far flung places it had conquered. Constantine was so taken with Christianity that he turned to it on his deathbed.)
Still, I clung on to my basic belief that there had to be some kind of creator, and I would also use this excuse too so to encompass science into my thinking, that is, that perhaps god had utilized the method Darwin discovered (evolution) as a means of moving the world and all on it forward from one stage to another... My My, the arguments and trouble that got me into..., Eventually, I began to realize that religion was really only a man made crutch as far as I was concerned, something I needed to hang on to, to explain the unexplainable....
Now, I am agnostic, I believe there could possibly be a creator, that has nothing to do with hedging my bets, I simply believe that if something exists, there has to be a creator somewhere in the background making it's existence possible.... Yes, I know, so who created the creator and so an and so forth, well, that is a question for another day, suffice to say I am settled and happy with it all as it is at the moment, it is however, a work in progress.
Finally to say, In viewing present day events in our sick old world, I certainly can't believe that the creator, if there is such a thing, is a loving god as all religions suggest, further in fact, insist.
He who dares not offend cannot be honest: Thomas Paine
The biggest trouble maker you are ever likely to meet is the
one that stares back at you from the mirror every morning.